Caleb McIntosh
(1983-2004)
Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
Tributes and Condolences
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Eternal God and Father  / Mom
Eternal God and Father look in mercy on those who remember Caleb before you. Let not the manner of his death cloud the good memories of his life. For Caleb the trials of this world are over and death is past. Accept from us all that we feel even when words fail; deliver us from despair and give us strength to meet the days to come in the faith of Jesus Christ our Lord.
the memorial  / Therapydoc Therapydoc@gmail.com (his mom's friend )
That was just beautiful.  A real inspiration.  I'm sending a friend to see how you did this.
Tonight he laid himself to sleep  / Mom (Love you Buddy )
Tonight he laid himself to sleep :
Broke the promises he could not keep :
Left the lonely world to share :
All the pain he could not bare :

Amy Miller
O Death, where is your victory...?  / Fr. Gene Pistacchio, Ofm (Franciscan Priest and friend of the family. )
Caleb, as a budding young man, you had such potential as you were barely heading off to college in May of 2004. I was told you were a kind, helpful and thoughtful person, assisting your family and neighbors when needed. What would you have accomplished had you lived and loved until the blossoming of a person of age, grace and wisdom?....but no one knows... and no one knew what was transpiring in your mind and heart. Here there should be no judgement, no condemnation and no guilt; simply, hearts that remember and cherish you maturing to manhood with love supporting your spirit and yours supporting ours until we meet you in the heart of God, embracing you, holding you and loving you Caleb, forever! Rest in Easter peace Caleb in the brightness of Christ's victory over all pain, sadness, illness and even death! "O death, where is your victory, where is your sting?...all are alive in Christ" St. Paul.
A funeral homily For Caleb by Father Gene Pistacchio, ofm  / Mom

A funeral homily for Caleb McIntosh – June 3, 2004

Delivered by Fr. Gene Pistacchio, ofm

 

Wendy, John, Evan, Melissa, Kimberly and Dylan, we come into this sacred place to stand by you during a tragic time in your life; a time that came upon you ever so suddenly. I am sure it seems as though you are living in a fog, simply hoping that this is one dark dream that will pass. Yet, the reality of Caleb’s untimely death strikes at the core of our hearts. Many thoughts and conflicting emotions clamor for your attention, trying to make sense of it all asking: “Why?” over and over again. There are no easy or satisfying answers to that question especially when the world was at Caleb’s feet. His one tragic choice does not however cancel out all the goodness in him.

            Life was before him and he seemed in the view of many people, to be filled with life as he played practical jokes around the house. Can you hear his infectious laugh? He displayed a huge heart, ‘leaping through life’ – on the go – into everything.’ And though he was mischievous at times, you knew that deep in his young heart, he knew compassion as he tried to see the good side of people- always giving them the benefit of the doubt!

            His neighbors loved him, as he was always ready to help them with the groceries or cut the grass or shovel snow! He was growing into being a very responsible person as he took care of his family, doing all sorts of chores around the house and yard without being asked. He made sure the family had all the necessary items when they went out on family trips. Caleb was quite dependable and reliable and loyal. He was a friend as well as a son, brother and teammate. When he worked, he gave of himself 200%. When he played sports, particularly football, he could be quite competitive as well. But there was a gentle side of Caleb as well. His sister Kimi remembers when Caleb would come home after a long day at school and work, he would calm Keara in his arms and helped her to fall asleep, sometimes falling asleep right next to her.

             Caleb was curious about everything and loved trying new things. One time, when the family was in Germany, he found a chicken and decided to give it a bath! Another time, he took apart a digital clock and tried to fix it but was not always successful.

            Caleb had just started a new job last week and was preparing himself for Marshal University to study criminal justice in the fall. With all these qualities and enormous promise in a young man, family and friends looked up to him in many ways.

            Brothers and sisters, today’s funeral helps us to affirm all the good choices Caleb made. So, we want to hold on to Caleb. We don’t want to let him go nor say good-bye to one so young, so talented, so loving and compassionate.  With so many virtues and ‘immense integrity,’ no wonder his sudden death is so painful. How could you see it coming?

 It seems to me that Caleb’s parents Wendy and John have raised a very fine young man, so fine that there is absolutely no room for guilt or shame. Wendy and John, you have done what every other parent in this church would do and does: Love him completely and unconditionally- JUST AS GOD DOES.

Caleb, for an unknown reason, decided to take his life-ONE TRAGIC CHOICE FOR WHICH GOD ALSO WEEPS. At such times, it is so easy to blame ourselves and wonder what any of us could have done to prevent Caleb from making this irreversible choice. But blame and guilt are futile. They add nothing to our already burdened hearts. I am confident that Caleb, given all that I know about him in a very short period of time, would not want you, his family, to blame yourselves. I am confident that Caleb WANTS AND NEEDS YOUR FORGIVENESS.  I am confident that Caleb HAS GOD’S FORGIVENESS. As Jesus asked his Father to forgive his executioners immediately after they nailed him to a cross, HEAR JESUS ASK HIS FATHER: “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.” HEAR CALEB SAY TO JESUS: “JESUS, REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU COME IN YOUR REIGN.” HEAR JESUS SAY TO CALEB: “ TODAY, YOU WILL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE.”

            Caleb, so full of life, of vitality, always running here and there has not stopped running, only this time, he has run into the tender arms of God. I somehow feel that the gates of paradise are left wide open on such an occasion, so that Caleb did not have to knock on heavens door.

            I, we, cannot imagine nor judge what was in Caleb’s mind but I would strongly encourage all the young people here this morning to try your very best to talk to someone you trust about anything that troubles you, about anything that causes you great inner pain ….and choose life.

            Oftentimes, taking one’s life is not always a refusal to live as it is an intense, irrational, and momentary desire to be rid of pain or overwhelming sorrow, where death seems to be the only way out. Sharing your pain can quickly change your perception that something is unbearable. Unfortunately and regrettably, Caleb did not choose to share whatever problems he found insurmountable and so we find ourselves at his funeral today weeping. REMEMBER, GOD WEEPS WITH US TOO!

            God will never interfere in any of our choices because of the gift of free will but when we do make bad choices in life, God does not turn against us because God is always on our side and is always for us. All we have to do is look at that cross to know that God is always here for us. St. Paul tells us that God acquits us and Jesus intercedes for us, especially when we do not know what we do. No, nothing, NOT EVEN THE MOST SORROWFUL TRADEGY CAN SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF CHRIST. “NOT ANGUISH, DISTRESS, PERSECUTION, FAMINE, OR PERIL. NOT DEATH NOR LIFE, NOR POWERS, NOR ANGELS, NOR PRESENT THINGS NOR FUTURE THINGS, NOR ANY OTHER CREATURE CAN SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS.”

            Let us this morning remember and be consoled by the many wonderful choices Caleb made in his young life, even too numerous to count. Let us also remember that the favors of the Lord are not exhausted in the face of ONE TRAGIC CHOICE. God’s mercies are not spent but are renewed each morning especially when we remember his Son’s own suffering and death around this table of fellowship and communion. Let us place our hope in God’s faithfulness toward us knowing confidently that death is not the final word, JESUS CHRIST IS!  And in him, Caleb has ‘passed over’ from death to an eternal life where all suffering is vanquished forever! Caleb, we love and miss you. Thank you for all your kindnesses and good heartedness of a lifetime. May our fond and loving memories of Caleb give us strength, and peace. Our God loves Caleb and us with a love beyond all telling!

 

Caleb, My Other Son  / Chris Maher (like a mom )  Read >>
Caleb, My Other Son  / Chris Maher (like a mom )
Oh, how I miss him!  If I could pick one time in my life to go back to, it would be a day when Caleb was at our house with Jason.  Asking it there were any of my bisquits left, tossing Ryan and Kait in the air, helping them touch the ceiling, playing "Choppin' Brocolli" on the guitar....all that laughter filling the air.  He touched our lives, not just then, but for always. Close
Standing Deer  / Mom (mother)  Read >>
Standing Deer  / Mom (mother)
Standing Deer

As the house of a person
in age sometimes grows cluttered
with what is
too loved or too heavy to part with
the heart may grow cluttered.
And still the house will be emptied
and still the heart.

As the thoughts of a person
in age sometimes grow sparer
like a great cleanness come into a room
the soul may grow sparer;
one sparrow song carves it completely.
And still the room is full
and still the heart.

Empty and filled
like the curling half-light of morning
in which everything is still possible and so why not.

Filled and empty
like the curling half-light of evening
in which everything now is finished and so why not.

Beloved what can be what was
will be taken from us.
I have disappointed.
I am sorry. I knew no better.

A root seeks water.
Tenderness only breaks open the earth.
This morning out the window
the deer stood like a blessing then vanished.
~ Jane Hirshfield ~ Close
A prayer for all of us.  / Mom   Read >>
A prayer for all of us.  / Mom
Eternal God and Father look in mercy on those who remember Caleb before you. Let not the manner of his death cloud the good memories of his life. For Caleb the trials of this world are over and death is past. Accept from us all that we feel even when words fail; deliver us from despair and give us strength to meet the days to come in the faith of Jesus Christ our Lord. Close
Thanks / Therapydoc Dr (friend of Wendy )  Read >>
Thanks / Therapydoc Dr (friend of Wendy )
Thanks for your condolences they mean a lot.  I know you understand Close
Longing by e.e. cummings  / Mom   Read >>
Longing by e.e. cummings  / Mom
Longing
by E.E. Cummings
[first published in The Harvard Monthly April 1915]

I miss you in the dawn of gradual flowering lights
And prayer-pale stars that pass the drowsing-incensed hymns
When early earth through all her greenly sleeping limbs
Puts on the exquisite gold day. The Christlike sun
Moves to his resurrection in rejoicing heights
And priestly hills partake of morning one by one.

I look for you when comes the beautiful blue moon
When earth is a queen whose soul hath taken flight
Embalmed in the entire strength of perfect light.
The immense heaven a vase of utter silence towers
Vastward beyond where dreams the unawakened moon
Holding infinity and her invisible flowers.

The hours drum up at sunset; now the west awakes
To armies. Suddenly across the firmament
Couriers of light spur forth their captain's high intent.
Now devout legions mustering heavenward without cease
Face the hushed hordes of night. A trumpet-radiance breaks--
I see the young ranked glories marching down to peace.

Twilight and great with silence of beginning dreams
Yet haunted still by broken hosts in brave retreat
Of blameless cohorts whelmed into sublime defeat
Which darkly under world their ragged spears withdraw
Shall rise to fire the night in far victorious gleams
When over the towered east leaps the white sword of dawn.

So do I want you when in heavenly spaces God
Slips His white wonders on the silent trail of time;
When out the smoking eve begins to slowly climb
A great red fearsome flower about whose fatal face
The faint moths gather and die--till withered pale she nod
Far in the west and morn the little dreams shall chase.

Now is the world at peace; Heaven unto her heart
Holdeth sublimities afar from touch of day
Presents divine the fates shall never take away
Unfaded memories immortal ponderings
The little knock of prayer whereby are thrown apart
Those inner doors which lead into all priceless things.

O night mother divine of poetry and stars!
O thou whose patient face is nearest unto God
Thou of chaste feet with beautiful oblivion shod
Having the dear swift-winged dark within thy hands--
The prison invisible of souls thy peace unbars
And love and I rise up into unspoken lands.
Close
Storm By Lighthouse  / Caleb's Mom   Read >>
Storm By Lighthouse  / Caleb's Mom
how long have i been in this storm

so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

waters getting harder to tread

with these waves crashing over my head



if i could just see you

everything would be all right

if i could just to see you

this darkness would turn into light



and i will walk on water

and you will catch me if i fall

and i will get lost into your eyes

and everything will be alright

and everything will be alright



Close
Prayer by Thomas Merton  / Mom   Read >>
Prayer by Thomas Merton  / Mom
My Lord God
I have no idea where I am going!!
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself
and the fact that I think I am following
your will does not mean
that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that my desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire
in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear
for you are ever with me
and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone!!

THOMAS MERTON (1915-1968) Close
Happy Birthday, Caleb!  / Andria Renner (admirer)  Read >>
Happy Birthday, Caleb!  / Andria Renner (admirer)
We may have never met but I feel like I know you having had similar struggles of my own.  I lost my mother to such a battle but I am cheered to know she fought hard along the way and was the very best mother I could ever have.  So please say hello to Vera Ellen for me.  You'll love each other!  Oh--and if you're not terribly busy with all of your other friends and family I could desperately use a guardian angel  from time to time.  Thrilled that you found peace on your own terms dear and say hello to Michael Jackson for me!!!  God bless you all and profound condolences to  your family and friends who miss you like hell.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.....(So glad I read Jezebel or I may have never learned about the fabulousness that is Caleb) Close
With Love  / Anonymous   Read >>
With Love  / Anonymous
Your tribute to your son has really touched me. Although his life ended in sorrow it was a gift to all of us even those of us who didn't know him personally. He reminds us that life is precious even though it's fleeting and that our loved ones need us and cherish us. That's something I know I've forgotten from time to time. So thank you for sharing this site with me and renewing my faith. God be with you. Close
In loving memory  / Mom   Read >>
In loving memory  / Mom

We find an old photograph

and see your smile

As well feel your presence anew,

We are filled with warmth

and our hearts remember love.

We remember who you used to be

The laughter we shared

and wonder what you have become.

We miss your being

but we feel your presence

We remember you.

Your are with us

We love you

And we are not afraid.

Close
Just to be with you again - Lionel Richie  / Mom   Read >>
Just to be with you again - Lionel Richie  / Mom
So I still walk on through the night and through the rain
I would give it all just to be with you again

It'a a lonely road for my heart is still in chains
But I live my life just to be with you again

We have walked together where angels go
And we found the place inside us, That only we could know

So I still walk on through the night and through the rain
I would give it all just to be with you again

That's the way life goes like a whisper in the wind
But I'll take that fall, Just to be with you again

Can I find a reason? Can I find a way?
'Cause the words I need to tell ya, Are the word I didn't say

So I still walk on through the night and through the rain
I would give it all just to be with you again

I see you standing in the doorway
With that look that's in your eyes
And the feeling that I feel will never die

So I still walk on through the night and through the rain
I would give it all just to be with you again
That's the way life goes like a whisper in the wind
I would give it all just to be with you again

It'a a lonely road for my heart is still in chains
But I live my life just to be with you again
Close
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain  / Mom   Read >>
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain  / Mom
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
Please forgive the manner of my leaving.
My love and need for all of you remain.
I could not long such suffering sustain,
Nor would it long have held you from your grieving.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
I hope that choice will not my memory stain,
Nor lead you to be angered at my deceiving.
My love and need for all of you remain.
For only in you do I live again,
Woven like a wind into your weaving.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
I put to you the plea of the self-slain:
To comprehend an anguish past conceiving.
My love and need for all of you remain
That all that I have been not be in vain,
But blend into the earth of your believing.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
My love and need for all of you remain.
author unknown.
Close
Walking Beside You  / Louise Schickram (POS mom )  Read >>
Walking Beside You  / Louise Schickram (POS mom )
Dear Wendy,

Caleb is such a special
guy,so handsome! He is so much like my Gary, he also loved children and animals and was such a good friend to all. I hope they met and got to know each other. I'm sure they did, they seem so much alike.
Such a sad, sad loss of two special boys.
My heart is with you as we walk this life toghether without our boys, till we see them again. Take care (((Wendy))).
Louise S. (mom of Gary W.)
Close
Dance and play with the angels  / Kate Borau (mum from POS )  Read >>
Dance and play with the angels  / Kate Borau (mum from POS )
Dance and play with the angels sweetheart.

Watch over your mum and family, they all love you so much.

God Bless.

Kate. mum to beloved Izzy and Anna. Close
Merry Christmas Caleb  / Argia M. Caines (Mom's Dear Friend )  Read >>
Merry Christmas Caleb  / Argia M. Caines (Mom's Dear Friend )
Caleb:   Words fail me my dear young man, you should be here walking this earth. the peace you sought I hope you have found as I know Ralphie did.  Look after Mom and help her thru the trying times and the holiday.  Wendy you are always close to heart and Caleb is even closer, never to be forgotten.  It was nice to visit Caleb again. Wendy I hope in the spring time we can get together again it ill be nice.  Take care always and Be safe. "Argia" Mother of my beautiful "Raphael"  My Healer, My Angel, My Baby  66-96   Close
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